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A Good Question

Recently after sharing a hosting story, a sad one, where parents had to say goodbye to their host kids and everyone cried and it was sad, someone asked a very good question, very good.  In my opinion, many others may have the same question, so I thought I’d share it and share some thoughts on it.

“Oh man, this tugs at my heart. I struggle with this so much lately. I know that the pain of loss we may feel after hosting can be dealt with and that it will all be worth it for US, but what about the kids? Do the benefits to them outweigh the hurt? To see another family leave and essentially abandon them again? Does that add to the sense of abandonment? We are planning to host this winter and I’d say that this is my main hesitation, will these kids recover and know their worth and that they are so loved despite being left alone all over again? 

I’d love to heart your thoughts about this. You always have such great wisdom and insight.”



Such a great question. Loving an orphan, who lives here only for a short time, but really actually very far away, in a country that is poor, and probably poorly run, with family situations as varied as stars in the sky, with different attachment styles can be so messy, and hard. Then, after all that work you pour into them all summer, or winter, as they mold and change into this brand new person, alive and speaking English, they are put on a plane back home, no exceptions–it can be very sad.

But the question to ask, in every situation is; “Is love worth it.”   When I look at Jesus, he didn’t adopt everyone, or anyone. He didn’t heal every person he met. But when I think of him and say… Peter–he went fishing with him. Spent time with him, met him where he was. He cried for Lazarus, because of his compassion when he died, even though he knew it would end up well for Lazarus.  Loving these kids opens everyone up to something deeper, something more, something to actually grieve when it’s gone. Buts that’s something right there.

They will always know, their whole life, someone, truly loves them. Holds them in prayer. Championed them for weeks at a time, once in their life–maybe for the first time ever.  It will stick, with permanent marker; Your Life Matters.  You are important and worthy. You are more than a body, more than a burden, you are a soul, with beauty and depth.  Your life matters. That kind of thing changes lives, shifts decisions, and ultimately passes love on. Maybe to their own children one day, a break in a cycle.  Or, as each host parent says, “Worth the hurt, worth the risk of loving.

All to say, good, valid question. The fact that you care about their hearts now shows me you’re going to be good at this.


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  • nicole snitselaar August 21, 2014, 6:04 am

    I spent my youth living next to an orphanage. I can say they were so proud when they had a hosting family. Someone who cared and loved and spoiled them… 🙂
    It gave them confidence.

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