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Hi from Elijah


my name is Elijah.

Some interesting things have been happening to me this week.  First, I met these two weird people.  They’re names are mama and papa.  I don’t really know what that means, but so far I think I really like it.

Sometimes I can’t believe someone is holding me, so I just have to keep checking.

So I start my day just like normal.  Someone comes in and holds a bottle to my face while I lie in my crib.  But then, here comes mama and papa, and they take me out of my crib.

Mama says she loves this pic of me cause from this angle I look like a chubby, healthy baby!  Oh mama!

I am always so happy when they do, my face just lights up and I start to laugh, even though it’s kind of soft, I just can’t help myself!

They hold me, and they give me hugs and kisses.

I don’t know how to give eye contact for very long yet, I’m not used to it.

But they say they love me anyways.

I have rashes on my legs from where my diaper is.

But they say they love me anyways, and mama rubs them with a silky blanket.

My body is small, and my skin has never seen the light of day!

But they say they love me anyways.

Mama and Papa hold me close, and at first I just don’t know what to do.  I have never been held like this before, and I keep trying to hold my head up.   But then, guess what?  I guess I started to like the feel of mama against my little body.

And they say they love me anyway.

But here’s the thing…I don’t know what love is.  I have never known!  All I know is leaving, and forgetting.

But when mama and papa tell me they love me, it feels really good, I guess.  I don’t know what it means yet, but if they say it’s true, I think I’ll try to believe them.  Today, after they’d been holding me all day, I had this feeling like I wanted to rest my head against mama’s head, and look at her real close.  I didn’t take my eyes away from hers for the longest time, cause I just wanted to see what it might be like.  Then I just rested my head there with mama’s for a while.

Papa read me a book, it was SO cool!  I had never read one before!  There was this dog with fluffy fur on it, and I got to touch it with my hands.  It was so soft.  I wish I could do this stuff every day.  I think it was the best day of my whole life.

Mama and Papa said there are other people who love me too, and that someone named Jesus loves me.  I was like, “What?”  Who are these people, guys?

So anyways, isn’t that a weird couple of days?  So I don’t ever really cry, because I mean heck, what’s the point, nothing ever happens.  But something weird happened today.  Today, someone came in to us and told my mama and papa that they had to put me away, to put me back.  They looked kind of sad, and mama got water in her eyes.  We walked back to my room with all the other babies in it, and she laid me down in my crib, and I’ll tell you what.  I felt a cry coming right up in my heart.  I struggled for a moment, then just started crying, I guess I was crying for my mama and papa.  I just didn’t want them to leave.  They were so nice to me.  I still don’t know what love is, but if I ever had feelings for anyone, it would be them.

Mama gave a big bag of squeezy colorful baby food to my nanny and a photo book with their pictures in it and begged her to give it to me even though they said no the first time.  “Please,” she said, “for Elijah.”

The nanny nodded and smiled, so who knows, maybe, right?  Mama and papa sure hope so.  I guess I do too, I’ve never had colorful food before and it looks pretty good.

Mama and Papa said they have to go home tomorrow and will be praying for me.  They said they signed some special papers that make me a special boy.  I hope I get to see them again one day.  I really like it when they take me out of my crib. 

And even though I’m not perfect, they said they aren’t either.

And that they love me anyway.

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • thiscrazyhope June 18, 2012, 2:25 pm

    He is precious! God bless you all 🙂

  • Jan(e) June 18, 2012, 4:15 pm

    I get “water in my eyes” reading all these updates. So happy for you all, A,A,M,F,& E – what a great family you are! Hope the time between visits goes quickly and that you will all be permanently together really soon.

  • Kara June 18, 2012, 6:30 pm

    Beautiful and heartbreaking. Prayers for comfort as he waits.

  • Kate June 18, 2012, 8:57 pm

    I love his little crooked smile! I love that they dress the cutest boys in girls clothes 😉 Silas was always in girls clothes 😉 I love your updates! I think you are flying right now, we are praying for you – praying for quick court dates and that you can all hurry home!

  • K June 18, 2012, 9:21 pm

    He is very cute. He reminds me so much of a brown eyed version of my little boy, who will be 8 months next week. I hope it will not be too long before you can take him home – he obviously thrived from your attention.
    K x

  • Lou June 18, 2012, 11:10 pm

    Wonderful photo’s. Such special children to have found you and Andrew. I can’t wait to see the photo’s of all of you together when you finally get to bring Maya and Elijah home.

    Be strong together on the journey home. My thoughts and love will be with you, as will those of everyone reading this.

    Lou 🙂

  • A Perfect Pear to B June 20, 2012, 1:27 am

    Dear Amy,

    I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now on and off. This is very beautiful, what you and your husband have been called to do. I teared as I read todays updates or at least both stories about Elijah. You are an amazing woman! And team with your husband. I wish you many years of happiness with your family.

    I am pregnant with my first child, and you’ve inspired me.

    Thank you,


  • Julia June 20, 2012, 11:52 am


  • Squiggly Rainbow June 20, 2012, 11:02 pm

    Oh Amy, I have tears! So blessed, so precious, so thankful for you. xxx Rach

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