Today my friend brings home three children forever via adoption from foster care. “I am on the brink of a life change, I feel like I am saying goodbye to this season of my life…” she said, excited—anxious, nervous.
“And you won’t even remember what you used to do with your time prior,” we smiled at her, then laughed at the truth of it. But it’s not just the ways I spend my time that I see myself as changed when becoming a parent.
Yes, now I spend more time wiping paint off the art table, crumbs out of every-FOR-THE-LOVE-nook (Only when I know people are on their way over, though–true story)
but when I am really honest, I can tell you that becoming a parent has changed me, my true self. And I believe I have changed for the better. It took some bending and breaking, but I have learned that this is my better self. I often refer to my youngest as ‘One of My Greatest Life Teachers,’ which is just a kind way of saying he was so very difficult (moms are good at that positive crap, because they are just so cute, right?). Andrew and I are of the belief that life is better lived backwards, less is more, second is best, honoring another is more favorable, repaying good for evil is freeing, loving the unlovable–yet, belief, and putting that belief into daily action,
well, those are two separate things, let me tell you.
It’s our children who mobilized our beliefs, into daily, heart-changed action. While I wait for my children to rise up and call me blessed, in the meantime, they have taught me to love. Before I had children, I was certain love was an emotion, felt in reciprocation between me and a hot redhead. It was my children who taught me that love is not an emotion. It was becoming a parent that taught me to love in the face of rejection, tantrums, poor behavior, and to desire them and love them so, like no other human being not just despite,
but in addition to– just can’t get enough of them. It was them that allowed me to transcend reactionary responses, to live as a stronger, more peaceful, contemplative person–because of love. It was my love for my children that held a mirror up to myself, because this
mattered. When their round glassy eyes looked up into mine, and I
was mama, I saw my true self, and the parts I didn’t want in their mama; I saw someone who focused too much on busyness, honestly, to feel a false sense of worth. It was my kids who showed areas in my heart of little patience, needed kindness and lacked nurturing. It was them, their presence, that cause me to want to make it right. My love for them, especially my youngest, bent and broke me, and now I know that is a holy place to be, a place of magic. When I say they are my greatest teachers, I can say it with humble gratitude. With joy and thankfulness. Parenting changed me, it will continue to do so, but as I bend and reform, I know and see and feel it is into a better shape.
So there’s my story of my sweet, tiny, best life teachers, and now I want to know: how have your kids changed you, honestly? We are giving away a $100 Visa gift card to one person who shares here in the comments below, on behalf the movie Delivery Man, the story of a man named David who finds his true self while finding his long lost children. The movie is heartwarming and hilarious. Bring home this ‘Special Delivery’ on Blu-ray DVD and Digital HD 3/25/2014. “Hilarious and Heartfelt,” –Peter Rallis, Rallis Review.
If you love Vince Vaughn, you can watch it 533 times. To order now click here,
or visit the movie on Facebook here