We dropped everything. Picked up our hearts, and rushed to the doctors in a hazy cloud.
“She will try to submit without it next Tuesday, but…” I couldn’t even read more, my tears felt hot.
After the doctor, we walked back to that grumpy notary who had asked us not to come back, “We’re back,” we said with a frown. She was sweet to us, and remembered our names. We overnight-ed the new paper work all over again, to four destinations. To catch up. It would take a while, and then needed to be translated. It would set us back farther than we could even say with new laws starting in less than one week. I won’t describe my feelings.
We woke up praying. It was 3am in the city where our children sleep. I find it hard to pray for my children far away, as soon as I start, my heart feels like it’s squeezing, “Help them to feel loved, to be fed, held…” and I realized how much they lack and it’s hard to continue.
Remember that verse God gave me the day we left our children? He told us he was father to the fatherless. Sometimes I think about that when I fail at my prayers.
So, yesterday we woke up praying for this whole paperwork situation. Our stupid doctor paperwork still on it’s way. I prayed for real Godly wisdom for the person who would be making decisions, that they would see the situation for what it truly is, and to see these children, really see them. I prayed out in the car, and asked God to be in that person’s heart, even at 3am while they slept, to give those children mercy. For the first time in a while, I felt those prayers flowing out of me all day, like a barrier broken or something. I asked for prayers from my friends that morning at mommy yoga, not even really wanting to bring it up knowing how frustrating it had been, not even wanting to get their hopes up. :/
We all woke up early, and headed to the library to get some books in Spanish for Finley from the library, which was closed. Danggit!
I looked in the bible app as we drove away and read the verse of the day, it was:
“ANDREW!!! LISTEN,” and I read it too him. “He heard my voice, he heard my cry for mercy, it says. But, I don’t know, I don’t want to get my hopes up,” I told him. But you know what, they were up! God has spoken to us so directly through his word in this process, I mean like exact words to our exact situation. I wasn’t trying to increase my faith at all, but I felt faith, because we saw God moving.
So I texted the verse to like 10 friends and asked for prayers, saying, “Maybe it’s a good thing?” I suggested.
10 minutes later, we got an email from our agency. “What if they accept the paperwork without the doctor one!?” my mind raced ahead of itself, hopeful for something, or I guess anything.
10 minutes after reading the verse, the verse about God hearing me, I read the email that said;
” ‘V’ waited 2 hours this morning at the airport to collect your documents which arrived on an overnight from the capitol. She was successful in registering your documents. “
I scooped up Finley and ran into Andrew’s office who had already read it.
“DID YOU READ IT!?!?” He called out.
“THEY ARRIVED!? How did they arrive!?”
“I don’t know!”
“They were registered today?”
“How? It seriously doesn’t make any sense, how did it all get there so fast, and translated in a couple days.” Andrew asked. He actually can’t understand it. Even when I type this, he is explaining to me how it doesn’t make sense that they went so far so fast.
And we just stared at each other.
We emailed her back.
We told her thank you.
She wrote back, and mentioned that it was a ‘small miracle,’ words I had never heard her say before, she’s surprised too.
Yesterday was agony for what could happen, and what could not happen. Yesterday was tears and prayers, my heart in limbo.
What the heck is happening!?