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Keepin on!

Thanks for bearing with me during my sad moment in the last post!  Oh man, I was missing the kids, and feeling so helpless to help them while they are in need. 

But!

Today we are celebrating, so before you read, you can listen to our little celebration song! 

Because we got our I-600A response!  Hurray!  That means at least one of the two countries who need to, have approved us! (ours 🙂  One down, one to go!  I loved getting our finger prints, the sweetest asian man was finger printing me.  “Oh wow!  You adopting a girl who is ten?  That so great!  She will flip out!  She will say, ‘Wow mom and dad!’ Cause we have Disneyland, Sea World, Lego land, everything.  She’ll just love it!”  He was the best.  I filled out a comment card about him, saying he was the most awesome part of our day.

Then yesterday, I detoured to Costco and got my visa pictures taken, it was SO awesome.  When they handed me my two tiny, square photos it was like my photo was saying, “you’re going back mama!”   Thank you photo of myself!

This morning, I was able to go to our ‘mommy book club’ which I had to miss the first two weeks of.  Awesome sitters watched our kids, and we gathered around with fruit and treats, opening our books.  As soon as we started sharing, I felt it coming on fast.  Uh oh…

The question was, “What do we find a hard time surrendering to God?”

After a few shared, I finally I opened my mouth, and as soon as I did the tears just poured out of my face.  I said it was hard to surrender the fact that I feel like the kids are not getting what they need.  That my kids aren’t getting what they need, and there’s nothing I can do about it…

But I shared with them what God had shared with me, that I seriously keep forgetting.  That HE is the father to the fatherless.  He told me twice, two days in a row.  And truthfully, I know it.  When I was with those kids, I felt God’s presence because they are his kids, as forgotten as they seem, I felt His spirit hovering over them like I hadn’t experienced before.  It felt good to share, to get it out.  Like, REALLY good.  I feel like a new person sharing with my sweet, compassionate friends.  And I know they are praying.

I feel better.  What would we do without our community, free therapy when you’re down! Hah.

Even the sadness is a gift.  It means we have gone, and seen and held and loved.  And it also means that the best is yet to come!  What would I rather?  That I would have guarded my emotions in a bubble and said no to going because I knew I had to wait?  No, even the sadness is blessing.

My plan for Elijah when he gets home is pretty much to have him live in the moby wrap.  He’ll get the physical contact he needs, he’ll be so close to me, and be able to interact with his siblings and papa, and if he needs a little break, I can just pull up the side and he can have a few moments to center, or just fall asleep on his mama.  We’ll be making up for lost time of being nurtured and held!  I just can’t wait!  Plus, if he’s in the wrap, it will give me the ability to run around and play with the other two!

Learning to JOYFULLY wait for two more to feed at the BBQs

And today it’s starting to feel less of a choice, and more of just how we feel.  Joyful!

What was the verse of the day, you ask?

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27: 14

Well, that’s pretty clear!

We love you all guys, thanks for reading and sharing this journey with us!

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{ 6 comments… add one }
  • Melissa June 28, 2012, 11:32 pm

    Would you mind sharing (if it’s not too personal) what your plans are for your daughter? I was thinking about adoption today… what are your plans for school for her? I assume there would be some language barriers to putting her in public school right away. Are you going to home school her?

  • Squiggly Rainbow June 28, 2012, 11:52 pm

    Joy of the Lord, what an amazing gift he gives us when we are down. I find it helps when I sing childrens praise songs – lifts me right up… you could sing them to Finley and tell him you are also singing them for Maya and Elijah to hear xxx lots of love xx

  • Lou June 29, 2012, 3:09 am

    What fantastic news you have received – one down, one to go, and I am sure it won’t be long before you hear.

    Such a lovely photo of Andrew and Finley – definitely one for the wall I would say, and how magical it will be when you have a photo of Andrew, Finley, Maria and Elijah, all eating corn together! TRULY AMAZING!

    You guys know I am thinking of you – every day.

    Love to you all
    Lou 🙂

  • Suzanne June 29, 2012, 6:13 pm

    Praying that time passes quickly for you and you have your children soon.

  • Kami June 29, 2012, 7:46 pm

    Hi Amy, I tried to send you an email about donating some funds. Let me know if it didn’t come through. You can email me at kami@travistuttle dot com. I’m so excited for you guys!

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