Summer came to an abruppppppppt halt last Tuesday. This was one of the best summers of our entire lives, ever, and the few days before it ended, I felt in shock. “Nooooooooooo….” I kept thinking. I contemplated homeschooling once again (like always, even though I have tried it, more than once, lol, heaven help me)
Elijah would be starting Kindergarten for the second time after a rough go at it last year, and Finley would be starting first grade, but his first year for a FULL day, and Maria would be starting High School, and The Queen is sticking in her preschool for pre k.
We spent the entire Monday before school getting reading, doing chores, taking baths, packing lunches, organizing, doing some last minute workbook prep (as IF that would even help them, but they were nice to my worried heart and worked on it like, “Ok mom 😉 )”
That morning we were up early, my body protesting, “This is an ungodly hour…” which I totally agreed with, but alas, this was serious.
We had our smoothies, zipped up packs, took our photos, Andrew read to them from the Jesus Storybook bible about Naaman and how he thought he needed something fancy from God to heal him, but all he actually needed was God himself and to allow Him to do the work… The kids were like, “Yeah, awesome, thumbs up,” but Andrew and I were the ones breathing the most relief. As much as I think and want them to need just me, and our cozy, kind, safe little home, and all that we provide so diligently, what they really actually need is God. And they have him, want him and love him already. “I can’t be there with you guys each second, but you know who can and will and is, and the moment you speak and ask, He’s right there?”
Elijah knowing it is someone from the bible, smiled and nodded confidently to us peasants, “Joshua”
“Um, no,” I laughed.
“Christ Jesus? When did you turn old school,” all of us laughing, “Guess again.”
Then he smiled, “the Holy Spirit.”
“That’s it buddy!”
We talked about what happens if we meet someone rude or mean, and if they say something rude or mean, that it isn’t a reflection of us but what’s happening in their own hearts, and we don’t need to velcro ideas of shame to ourselves because of it. And we can imagine a glass wall where their words can hit it, and slide down the side, never even touching our bodies or hearts. That we can’t even control anyone else, but we can be and are responsible for our own feelings and actions and how to handle them in a healthy way by talking about them in a real way.
We loaded up and got in the car. For Finley, my sensitive homebody, this is his first year going to the same school more than one year, he saw his friends instantly. His best friends at school are the Spanish speakers, and their moms are the kindest.
We watched them go in, Elijah was brave and marched into the classroom that he couldn’t handle the year before, but this year we told him, “This is your year, and I already know you will do great. This year, you will probably be the helper to many, the kind friend.” He nodded silently with his big brown eyes on us, “I think you’re right,” with his whisper soft voice.
Elijah gets out of school a hour earlier than the other two, so I walked up to greet him. Last year he was hurting, running, hiding, overall just freaking out.
“How did he do?” I asked his teachers.
When she saw it was me, she smiled, “Perfect.”
Elijah was up by then, standing next to me wearing a paper crown, looking down at his folded hands.
“Elijah was a model student.”
Elijah couldn’t keep straight faced, his little grin beamed at me.
“I’m so proud of you, I knew you could do it!”
“Yeah,” he whispered. “I did it, I think God helped me.”
We went and used his froyo gift card from his bday.
The next week when there was a new student, he raised his hand and said, “Can I please sit next to him in class?” to make him feel good, and ate lunch with him.
He’s learning and growing.
When I picked up Finley after the long day, I felt sad, ‘ALL DAY!?’ Didn’t seem right. But when I pulled up, he was standing with Maria and a girl who lived with us for 6 weeks last year who is like family to him, laughing and having fun with his two big girls. Then I realized he was with his family (k-12 school) at school just as much as here. He was ok, he’d fly with his little wings, just like this world needs. He has all he needs, now it’s up to me to be ok too, ask God for wisdom and discernment, be fully ready for them when they get home to be distraction free and give them my all, true connection.
And although I sort of still wish they were just doing this:
I know and see that they are ready for and loving this:
Because they have everything they need.